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FAQ

Questions we've been asked. Answers of varying usefulness.

Will these products actually improve my productivity?

No. But you'll become very good at justifying purchases as "investments in professional development." That's a skill. Arguably.

Is this a real business or just elaborate satire?

Yes.

What's the "Day 847" thing about?

On Day 1, we started a 90-Day Transformation Challenge. We're currently on Day 847. We have not transformed. We have, however, accepted this. Read Our Story for the full descent.

How long does shipping take?

7-10 business days to UK addresses. Free delivery. We don't control Royal Mail. Much like we don't control most things in life. See Shipping Info.

Can I return something if it doesn't work?

Yes. 30-day returns for unopened items. Once you've started your descent, however, no refunds. You're committed now. See Returns Policy.

Do you ship internationally?

Currently UK only. Misery is universal, but our shipping infrastructure is not. Email us if you're desperate: hello@deadenddesk.com

Are the products good quality?

Yes. The yo-yos work. The organisers organise. The prints are professionally framed. The merch is comfortable. We may have questionable life choices, but we don't sell junk.

How many yo-yos do I need?

One. You'll buy 23. This is normal. We're here for you when it happens.

Can I use these at work?

Technically yes. Advisably no. Keep your camera off during Zoom calls. HR doesn't need to know about your fidget cube collection. Learn from our mistakes.

Do you offer gift wrapping?

No. If you're gifting someone a Dead End Desk product, they'll understand.

What if my package doesn't arrive?

Contact us after 15 business days. We'll investigate. If genuinely lost, we'll send a replacement. If you ordered it to your office and got fired before it arrived, that's trickier. But we'll try.

Are you hiring?

No. We're barely employing ourselves. Day 847 of Schrödinger's employment. If you're looking for work, we're not the solution. We're the cautionary tale.

Still have questions?

Email us: hello@deadenddesk.com
We'll respond eventually. Unlike your employer.

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