Contact Us
(We actually will reply, but temper your expectations)
Response time: 24-48 hours (business days)
Actual response time: Depends on how deep in the spiral we are
What to contact us about:
✓ Orders & Shipping
Order status, tracking issues, lost packages, delivery problems. We'll help.
✓ Returns & Refunds
Want to return something? Changed your mind? Product defective? Email us.
✓ Product Questions
Sizing, materials, specifications. Ask away.
✓ Wholesale & Partnerships
Want to stock Dead End Desk? Let's talk.
✓ General Enquiries
Anything else. We're listening. Mostly.
What NOT to contact us about:
✗ Career Advice
We're on Day 847 of a 90-Day Challenge and living in a fort. We're not qualified.
✗ Therapy
We stopped going to therapy on Day 134. We're not the right people to ask.
✗ Life Coaching
Our life is a cautionary tale, not a blueprint. Please don't follow our example.
✗ Legal Matters
If you're considering legal action against us, please note: we own 23 yo-yos and a fort. There's nothing to take.
Social Media
We're on TikTok and Instagram documenting the descent. Follow if you want to watch someone spiral in real-time.
Business Hours
Monday - Friday: 9 AM - 5 PM (GMT)
(Theoretically. We're working from a fort. Schedules are loose.)